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always next year

by Seal Pup

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1.
how could you watch your dream die bleeding? what was the price they gave your soul? when did you feel your heart receding into a dark, cavernous hole? they took your drive and switched it to neutral. made you a cog in their machine. now you implore them for approval and validation of your dreams. the pitiful sustenance they throw you keeps you convinced they truly know you. illusions of freedom keep you bound. you let the pressure slowly crush you and learned to subsist on mental junk food until all of the fire in you was doused. you had to prioritize survival and silence every act of reprisal. you can’t pay the rent with your conviction. you need to adapt or face extinction.
2.
how do I get back home? Tried to get a lift but I can’t seem to navigate my phone. pixels hold me suspended. got to break away before i’m senseless but the information feed is endless. i’m enamored with the infinite scroll. Skirted obligations leave a hole. need to fill it up with the safe and the droll. trading all contact for content. i’m wide awake and my thumb is on fire. dim light captivates while i’m stuck in the mire. say i’m gonna stop. i’m a terrible liar. i can slip away in an instant. hold me to these words: i am not a robot. i’m much smarter. i can put the juice back in my life. all i need is an android charger. all i need is just an outlet. all i need is just a charger.
3.
van hagar 02:02
yet another fucked circumstance stole your zen and depleted the ink of your brand new pen. aggressive depression crept back into your heart just when you were feeling renewed. they saddled you up with a formidable weight. they hoped that the burden would make you break. one step forward, two steps back. but you’ve been paralyzed, so the metaphor doesn’t track. you gotta get back. put on that tragedy mask but finish the task at hand. make yourself some broth and nourish your soul. remember you’re in control. the road ahead’s full of potholes but we’re gonna ride this bitch ’til the wheels fall off but you still gotta steer. shake hands with your fear. just keep on moving cuz there’s always next year. you’re the owner of a burning ship wreck but you’re the captain so you can’t just quit yet. it’s not romantic, it’s a fact of nature: your energy can never ever die. when you trudge through all the fucked up bullshit, just hold your nose and never stop your movement. i swear to god you will emerge much stronger if you can keep your eyes fixed on the prize.
4.
ohms law 02:27
wake up and fall into me. hold me close till the storm has passed. our love’s as deep as the sea. it can’t be shaken by the strongest draft. put your foot in front of my foot and walk through the dark. keep your eyes fixed on the light in the distance. when you struggle i will struggle but we won’t be apart because we’ve learned to calculate resistance. mutual trust was flaking off like dandruff. my nose was bloody, they had you in handcuffs. a weaker foundation would’ve crumbled but we were fated to love and to grow and be humbled. keep taking the walk with me, baby please. don’t leave me to drown in the sea. cling to me. hurricane winds can cause damage, but with you by my side I can manage and life is a breeze.
5.
life isn’t fun anymore since all the kids left home. you never talk, you just snore and ask to be left alone. took out the trash and emptied the ash can and sat right back down in my smoking chair. we were once kings and queens before the empire fell. now our bodies atrophy in a prison cell. stains on the mattress. love burned to ashes. we locked out love and forced it to flee. safe in my fortress of aluminum corpses, i resolve to scribe my own tragedy.
6.
try to keep it all intact. keep it hidden in my bag. every time i interact, feel it creeping up my back. time has made another crease. makes it hard to keep the peace. every youthful face puts me in my place. rage has taken hold of me. they defy the throne and disrespect my wisdom. though they evolve, they will not shift the prism. i am set in my ways; you cannot change the sea. there will be no replacing me. There's a greater force at work making me feel like a jerk. all my arrogance is just ignorance and fear of a changing world. they laugh in my face. they hold me up in traffic. they call into question antiquated habits. my thirst for knowledge dried up like a lake. i have only myself to blame.
7.
you deserve a pat on the back for defeating the odds. you kept it together again. you recalled your purpose. you never got lost. to yourself you were a friend to the end. our pride is resounding. we love you so much. if anyone could do it, it’s you. your strength is enormous. your skin is so tough. you faced down the monster and you made it through. but can you lay down at night and close your eyes and stop the storm inside your brain? Walk down the street, hold your head high and keep the dread contained? my friend you were dealt some deplorable cards. Traumatic events left indelible scars. i’m here to remind you: afford yourself time to just let yourself go and relax in the yard. you gave it your best but there’s no cheating death. you should rest, man. I know it’s been hard.
8.
this is a cover of a goldilocks song. they are broken up now but they were awesome. thanks to paco for giving me the ok to cover this for my album. listen to goldilocks at goldilocks.bandcamp.com

about

all songs written, performed, recorded, mixed and mastered by jake cook
except #8 which was originally performed/written by goldilocks.

mixed by atlanta audio resolutions.

cover photo by jake cook.

special thanks to Paco and Your Pie.

credits

released November 28, 2017

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Seal Pup Atlanta, Georgia

jake cook is seal pup

for questions visit jakecook1.bandcamp.com

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