1. |
late xmas song
02:45
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Tinsel scattered on the pavement. Star is missing from the Christmas tree. Wrapping paper in the basement. Sounds like too far of a trip for me. Think I just might make it through the winter. We’ll see. Traipsing over corpses and relentless tragedy. Cigarettes will cover up the scent of evergreen. Ornaments escaping cardboard. Paperclips are getting bent to hell. Lights are blinking on the front porch. Some are busted but it’s just as well. Bundled up for the cold snap. Not a single snowflake fell. A hand placed on a shoulder and a warm condolence. Damn right I’m gonna suffer, but why you gotta call me out on Christmas? No need to blow my cover, I’m just trying to keep the egg nog down. Best wishes on Christmas.
Poem by Peter Fonteece: A bright and blessed Christmas Day with echoes of the angel’s song, and peace that cannot pass away, and holy gladness calm and strong, and sweet heart carols flowing free. This is my Christmas wish to thee.
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2. |
mandatory metallica
01:46
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Day broke like a femur. She culled up some motivation. Threw on a black t-shirt. Each day brings a new frustration. Set out for a heartbreak. Slipped into the void like a fresh-made bed.
Wandered around in a fugue state, dark storm clouds inside her head. She didn’t know she could feel anything but pain. He awoke in a cold sweat and said hello to the sun through gritted teeth. Contemplated the dry wall and tightly fastened shoes to feet. Set out for a bad day. Eyes narrowed, he was ready for a war. Indignantly enraged. Unprepared for what love had in store. He couldn’t imagine that she would step into the frame and he couldn’t perceive the degree to which he could be changed. There’s a light at the center of every defective brain.
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3. |
car trouble
02:19
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You didn’t know how good you had it when you were lying in the street. Blood leaking out into the pavement between the nether and the screams. A broken window was your savior. The smell of diesel in a dream. Oblivion was all you knew then, but you had not yet earned that peace. You almost slipped into the black then. You almost left a mangled shell. But you gave death a burning finger and clawed your way back up from hell. No memory found between the bike and the ground. Seconds ago you were a mile up the road. Head spin on the tar. It was you versus car. A panic stricken, desperate plea for a phone. You were way too young and you’re too young still. In your quest for freedom you forgot your will.
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4. |
sad man
02:14
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Sad man. Who’s gonna love him tonight? Who’s gonna leave on the light for when he finally gets home, and fall asleep crying by the phone? He’s got needs and wants of his own. He’s not a monster. He deserves commendation, if not applause. He deserves a companion despite his flaws. Yet he waits for a break in the pain and the state of lonely disgrace. He’s a biological waste. Sad man. Who’s gonna tell him goodbye when he gets in a car and he drives to earn a meager wage while keeping his demons bayed? Where is the human salve for his wounds who weeps when he’s leaving the room and sits still in darkness until activated by his touch. Sad man. Who’s gonna fuck him tonight? Who’s gonna make it all right until the daylight stirs his sleep and he conjures the strength to leave? Sad man. Who’s gonna right all the wrongs and fall deep in love with his songs? He needs help to carry on because a lifetime is far too long.
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5. |
birthday month
01:30
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It’s my birthday month and I can do what I want. Another year is down. Still got my feet above ground. Fed the cat, paid the rent, filed taxes while the earth spun around on its axis. Oh my god I can’t believe i survived another twelve months. Applause for a job well done. Got a brand new number. A little closer to gone. Wave goodbye to comfort and face the truth in your songs. Cause it’s only gonna be uphill from here. Gotta brace myself for the coming years. You’re face to face with your worst fears, and your body starts to ache and quiver, and the cold reduces you to shivers. Will you regret fighting to live through all those tiny aggravations that made you pine for death? I made it but I don’t know what it is, but I’m too far along now to bungle it. I’m alive even if I’m struggling.
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6. |
the elusive chanteuse
02:09
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She’s peaceful and reserved. She’s got resolve and strength. She doesn’t bleed in darkness. She doesn’t hide her pain. She never gets mixed up. She never gets overwhelmed. She’s spiritual and tough and comfortable at the helm. Her love is deep and boundless. She knows herself so well. Her humility is astounding. She puts her faith in love. She puts her trust in friends. She breathes each day in deeply, not anxious for its end. She waxes and she wanes just like the sea. Sometimes I think that I could be her if I set my mind free. Until then, she resides inside me.
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7. |
what up big slice?
02:46
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We’ve been stood here for an hour and we’re not gonna make it. We’ll be stuck here until we’re extinct, but first the sky is gonna cave in. Why’d we do this to ourselves? Why did we eat such a big slice? How could we take it all for granted? How could we not check the price? Well it’s no matter now. Just please hold me near. Maybe the sun won’t explode if it sees our tears now. Oh god of mercy, take pity on me. We’re sorry we made such a mess but beg you to bless us with your courtesy. I don’t want to die in a flood or a catastrophic inferno. Life has been hard enough so just please make it fast. Stop trying to make it last.
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8. |
cringe compilation
03:23
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I took the path made by dumb fucks; the treacherous way. I fought against easy comfort and punched myself in the face. Resist with fists was my modus. Wallowed and skipped in my own shit. Robbed of my bliss, feeling aimless, I became so shameless. I really grew to love it. Feeling grounded was beneath me, I lingered high above it. Withdraw, retract for the impact. Keep it all intact for the kick back. Fight live a brave until the pain stops. Beat myself with rock until I bleed pop. There’s a place in my head that I’ve always been frightened to go. Trauma breeds self-sabotage. Depression is lighting the show. But I’m a man, I’m a beast and I’m sick of hanging out on the fringe. What else can I do? It’s time to face the cringe.
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9. |
god stuff
02:47
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I had a dream where I was comfortable and safe. I was no longer plagued by ignorance and pain. I felt secure and self-assured by my great faith. Whenever I felt low I bowed my head and prayed. I took a deep breath and just stretched away the stress. All mental blocks were lifted. I was at my best. When music played I felt compelled to move my feet. Delusion let me out of my cage and I was free to be who I’m meant to be. Life was sweet and in due time, I believed in the divine to make everything fine. Positive affirmations finally made sense. I felt connected to a great intelligence. Love and stability were finally in my hands. I never felt the need to question the plan. Away. Soon will come the day when I’m great, so I won’t sigh. I will pick myself back up and look into the night sky.
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